I have hemorrhoids (some people mistakenly spell the word hemroids, which makes more sense than the correct spelling): those itchy, scratchy, painful, sometimes bleeding little bumps between my buns. But guess what, all of us have them. They’re natural, but only about 4% of us (men and women) get to enjoy the pleasure of the itching and the pain, and the subsequent increase of marks on our underwear. But don’t fret, there are ways to control these little monsters on your dirty bits. Thank God I’m here to tell you how.

The hemorrhoid treatments that follow are easily performed by yourself, in a bathroom, with the door locked, but first we should discuss what causes the pain.

Causes of Hemorrhoids

The immediate pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids are caused by a blood vessel that has been pushed out of the dirty bits and become infected.

Hemorrhoids themselves can be caused by any number of things, but often times it’s just a matter of over exerting oneself during a bowel movement. If you want to reduce the exertion, you should eat more fiber and drink more water. Stools come out easier when they’re full and moist.

Get Rid of Hemorrhoids Temporarily and Quickly

Using an ice pack on the area that is giving you troubles will help a bit, and ease some itching. While that’s working it’s magic, you can keep on reading to see what else can be done.

Best Ways to Relieve and Treat Hemorrhoids

Don’t strain on the toilet.

Pressure is why hemorrhoids are giving you troubles in the first place, and if’n you’re pushing on the pot, they’re going to get worse. If you find yourself having to push a lot, increase your water intake. Nature will take care of the rest.

The same position for an extended period of time can irritate the hemorrhoids.

Sitting or standing, and not moving, can cause a good deal of issues. So if you’re not keen on getting up and down all day as if you were at a Catholic mass, then you may want adjust your schedule a bit. You don’t want to sit on those donut cushoins too long, as those will put the pressure on the veins causing the issue in the first place, and that’ll enrage the hemorrhoids.

Fiber, like water, will help your stool, and thus your hemorrhoids.

The more fiber, and the more water, the easier it’ll be to pass things through to the toilet. Because it’s easier, there’s less strain on the veins, and the less train, the easier it is to deal with the hemorrhoids.

Vasoconstrictors are what doctors prescribe most.

These are the pain releiving creams that will help the symptoms. There’s no cure, per se, because everyone has the bits that will become hemorrhoids. So, you’d use these creams to help calm things down. There are several respected brands of over-the-counter ointments, including Preparation H and Tucks. For relief for excessive itching, look for an ointment that contains hydrocortisone. You can order Preparation H from Amazon.

Hemorrhoid Surgery

Obviously, as we’ve discussed, you can’t really get rid of hemorrhoids per se. You can treat the symptoms. However, when push comes to shove, there’s an issue where there’s a new type of surgery called hemorrhoidectomy. If a doctor thinks you need it, they’ll talk about stapling shut the veins that are causing the most pain. Then, through the process of oxygen starvation, that dies and then no more pain from that specific vein. Check with your doctor, though, as any surgery involves pain, danger, and requires some good solid medical advice.

Get Rid of Hemorrhoids using Natural Remedies

Cocoa Butter, made from cacao beans, is a natural protectant for skin, and makes a perfectly soothing cream for hemorrhoids. Though it does nothing to medicate, it does keep the spicey food you keep eating from burning your dirty bits.

Lanolin, or Wool Grease, made from animals that produce wool, is another great protectant that is all-natural protectant (unless you count the steroids used to make bigger and better livestock). But remember, with all protectants, to keep the application of said cream to the outside of the dirty bits and the walls of the dirty bits–no further.

Warm Baths will often times help to ease the discomfort of hemorrhoids. And heck, who doesn’t need an excuse to take a nice, warm bath?

Witch hazel. Witch hazel is a liquid astringent that can help shrink blood vessels to reduce swelling and bleeding in the rectum and anus. Soak a cotton ball in the liquid and gently apply it to the affected area up to three times a day until the symptoms begin to go away. Witch hazel creams or lotions work just as well as the liquid. For extra cooling relief for burning and itching, keep your bottle of witch hazel in the refrigerator. You can get pads from Tucks at Amazon here.

Visit our Facebook Page to discuss this article!

About the Author

Julianne Ragland

Julianne Ragland