The first time I heard someone say “get rid of a muffin top,” I giggled like a little girl. Not at those who have one, mind you, but just at the phrase. I think it’s funny, and it’s a great descriptive term. It’s kind of a cute and endearing description. Of course it is. After all, it’s generally used to describe what’s going on on a woman’s body, and we all know that women are more sensitive about the appearance of their bodies than men are. Hah! Nonsense. Have you stepped inside a Men’s fashion store lately? Men are just as self-conscious about their bodies than women are. So, and we’re just guessing here, you are just as likely a man reading this as a woman.
I too am the not-so-proud owner of a muffin top, but since I’m a dude, mine’s actually called a spare tire, which means, of course, that I have a big, ugly, nasty, rubbery donut of fat hanging out above my nether regions. Not quite as kind of a description as muffin top. But whatever you call that little roll of fat that pops out above and/or hangs down below your belt line, it can be hard as hell to get rid of. Body fat is a stubborn thing, especially in that region. But I gotta tell ya, I’ve come a long way in getting rid of mine. To date, I’ve dropped about 60 pounds. And you know what? I’m pretty darn proud of that. I look better, and I feel better. And I know that sounds like an infomercial, but it’s nice to walk down the sidewalk on a windy day and not feel like a soft-serve ice cream cone when the wind plasters my shirt to my body. Be you man or woman, this article can help you learn how to get rid of your muffin top. Just read, apply, and be prepared to accept a few changes in your lifestyle.
Best Ways to Get Rid of a Muffin Top
Out with the bad. We pump an amazing amount of junk food through our bodies, and we know it. The first thing you need to do for yourself is to go through your fridge, freezer, and cupboards and start getting rid of “foods” that are high in fat, refined sugars, and preservatives. Throw away the Twinkies and the Wonder Bread. Get rid of things like fried chips and crackers, and, for the love of Jebus, dump out that soda pop. I don’t have to tell you this; you know what’s bad for you. If you’re truly not sure, read the label. If there’s no label, just toss it. Don’t risk setting yourself back.
In with the good. Now that you’ve got some extra storage space, get to the grocery store and buy yourself some healthy foods. There’s nothing better for weight loss than fruits and vegetables (with an emphasis on vegetables, as they usually have fewer sugars). Many of these are made up almost completely of water, which as we all know is zero calorie. Aside from fruits and vegetables, get some lean meats like fish and poultry. Also, buy yourself some beans. They are good protein and are high in fiber. As far as breads go, just make sure you’re buying whole grains.
Change some habits. One of the first things you should do is cut your portions at meal times. Muffin tops hate this. It’s tough at first, but this will cause your appetite to decrease, and your body will quickly get used to it. It’s also a good idea to eat a number of small meals throughout the day (five or six) instead of the standard three large meals. By eating more often, you will maintain an elevated metabolism and burn more calories throughout the day. When you’re out shopping, read the labels. Actually take the time to look at things like calories and fat content while you’re at the store. And when you feel like you need a snack, instead of a cookie, have some beef jerky, baby carrots, a few nuts, or a glass of cold water.
Exercise. There’s nothing better for getting rid of muffin tops than cardio. Running, jogging, speed-walking, swimming, dancing, Pilates, kickboxing, working out on an elliptical machine — anything that gets your pulse up is where it’s at. You should do this three times a week at the very, very least and go for around 40 minutes at a time (you might have to start small and work up to that). After your cardio, do some crunches, sit-ups, or leg lifts. As far as weight training goes, get some light weights that allow you to do lots of reps. This will allow you to tone your body instead of Hulking out. You can get started at home, especially with the variety of online cardio videos from Amazon, many of them free with Amazon Prime.
Learn to control your stress levels. You can’t always control what’s going on around you, but you can learn to control how you react to it. And this is important. When you’re stressed out, your body releases a hormone called cortisol. This is the “fight or flight” hormone, and it causes your body to release excess levels of blood sugar. If you don’t use this blood sugar in a “fight or flight” kind of way, it gets stored as fat and makes your muffin top all the sweeter. So chill. Learn to let things roll off of you. Purchase some music that you like, sit quietly, and get lost in it, or better yet, do some yoga.
Simple Muffin Top Control
Wear clothing that fits properly. This might mean a trip to a department store, but by wearing clothing that fits you well, especially pants, excess fat is not forced out of place to create a muffin top. Buy some looser, mid-rise pants, and avoid low rise at all costs.
Spanx. If you don’t want to exercise or want something to help keep your muffin top in check while in the process of losing weight, you may want to consider Spanx. Spanx offers a huge line of body-shaping garments that are designed to keep your body in check. We don’t know your shape or what-not, but here’s a good place to start: Spanx on Amazon.
Scrubbing. While this won’t make your muffin top go down at all, it can improve its appearance. Scrub your muffin top vigorously for five minutes a day in the shower. This action will stimulate the cells and help to increase blood circulation for a healthier-looking body.
Posture. We’ve been getting told to stand up and sit up straight since we were kids. Turns out this simple action can help to tone and strengthen the muscles of your core and thus help you reduce, however slightly, the size and appearance of your muffin top.
Extra Help for Getting Rid of Muffin Tops
In some cases, getting rid of a muffin top can prove to be more difficult than you ever expected it to be. The fat stored in muffin tops or spare tires is commonly reported to be the most difficult to get rid of. This is especially true if you are a lady who has recently had a baby. However, quite often the problem is due more than anything to a lack of self discipline and self motivation. For this reason, I strongly recommend getting yourself a personal trainer. These people know their stuff and are made to motivate. Not only will they will help you set up an exercise regimen that will work for you, they’ll also help you work out a diet menu that won’t feed your muffin top. One of the beauties of having a personal trainer is their availability. Not only can you set up appointments with them at a location such as a gym or fitness center, many of them will also come directly to your home. Not only is this nice for the super busy who simply don’t have the time to go to the gym, it’s also nice for the more self-conscious of us who don’t feel comfortable burning off that muffin top in front of dozens of strangers.
The Danger of Muffin Tops
There are a number of reasons for wanting to get rid of a muffin top. Most of the time, however, it seems that the number one reason is vanity. We want to look good, and there’s no shame in that. Turns out it makes getting laid a little easier. But you know what? It’s hard to get laid if you’re dead or dying. I realize looking good is important, but your health should be even more so. Below is a list of ailments that can be caused by being overweight or having excess belly fat.
- Heart disease
- Type II diabetes
- Liver disease
- High cholesterol
- Breast cancer
- Colon cancer
- Sleep apnea
- Gall bladder disease
- Respiratory problems
- Pregnancy complications
- Premature death