It happens to all of us. One day we look down and there they are--clusters of what looks like cottage cheese on our thighs and butts. To be expected, you run to the full-length mirror, twist and spin and contort, trying to get a clear view of your own butt. But no matter how you contort yourself, those clumps of cottage cheese patches still stick to your thighs. And then you know: you’ve got cellulite.
So, what is cellulite? And, more importantly, how do you make cellulite go away? There’s good news here, and bad news. Cellulite is just a fancy word for the dimpled-looking fat that tends to collect on thighs and bellies and bottoms. The bad news is that it tends to be stubborn and more difficult to get rid of, and poses the same health threats as other kinds of fat. However, it can be gotten rid of with some persistence. And I hope this cheers you up: everybody gets cellulite. Yes, everybody. You are not a freak. Celebrities get it. Healthy people get it. Even skinny people get cellulite. Still want to get rid of your cellulite? Alright. Keep reading.
Cellulite Treatment
The Food Pyramid is your friend. Forget fad diets, cabbage soup diets, carb-free diets, anorexia, bulimia, and various extreme, unhealthy, and unsustainable diets. If you follow the food pyramid, you won’t be dieting; you’ll just be eating. Instead of just cramming the food you crave into your face, make a conscious effort to notice what you’re eating. By the time you’ve fulfilled each step of the food pyramid, you may actually find yourself both full and satisfied without actually having to eat half your weight in raw cookie dough topped with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles, and chocolate chips.
Eat real food. Cheetos do not grow on trees. Nor does crème brulee, Ben and Jerry’s, Milkduds, pizza rolls, Big Macs, donuts, or Mountain Dew. The further away your food gets from anything that actually grew in or was born on this earth, the more nutrition you lose, the more fat and sodium you intake, and the closer you get to actually bursting. So try and eat breads that have really real grains in them. Or try a piece of fruit that hasn’t been frozen, minced, stored for sixteen weeks, thawed, chemically colored, artificially sweetened, and then mixed in with ice cream. That means you’ll end up with real fiber and real vitamins and nutrients, and you’ll feel more full and satisfied with less fat and sodium. Win!
Hydrate yourself. There are many health benefits of water. Drinking plenty of water will, along with making you no longer thirsty, which is pretty nice, also flush toxins from your body and keep you from retaining more water weight. It lubricates your joints, helps carry oxygen and nutrients to your muscles, helps get rid of acne, and is critical to maintaining a healthy metabolism. It pretty much does everything. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to just chug unflavored water, particularly if it’s flavored like the plastic of Culligan’s Water or the inside of your well, so try tossing in a wedge of lemon or lime, or maybe some crushed mint. It does help.
Groove yourself. Perhaps you’ve seen those ads on TV or on billboards as you cruise the freeway: groove yourself. Listen to those billboards. There are lots of ways to tone your body, fight fat and get rid of those cottage cheese patches that have sprouted up on your butt and thighs. Dance. Key up your iPod and get your dance on. Jump rope with your kids. Shovel your driveway instead of snow-blowing it. Walk your dog. Hit up that new dance club. Dig a hole and then fill it back up again. Whatever. You don’t have to get all dressed up, drive to the gym, buy a membership, and then run in circles inside. I mean, you can if you want to. But it might be more fun to go outside and play with your dog.
Get rid of cellulite with sex, sex, and more sex. Should I say it again? Sex. Lovemaking. The beast with two backs. Special, grown-up snuggle time. The friskies. Whatever you want to call it, sex is one of the best exercises you can do. And it’s much more fun to talk about than dreaded exercise. Sex will burn calories, get rid of fat, tone muscles, release endorphins, clean pores, get rid of acne, get rid of a headache, and, hey, it can be a lot of fun. More fun than forty minutes on a treadmill. Or a gazillion laps in the pool. So, go home, throw your man down (or woman, or various consenting adults), and go give him/her/them what-for. Might as well have fun as you tone those thighs.Small ways to get rid of fat and cellulite.
Don’t always think big. Sometimes thinking small is the way to go. Several smaller changes are more likely to stick to your routine and lend to a healthy lifestyle that will help you get rid of fat and cellulite than a single extreme and unhealthy measure, like barfing after meals. On that note, consider some of the following:
- Drink a glass of water before meals to help control hunger and feel fuller.
- Eat at home. It’s cheaper and healthier than dining out.
- Plan meals ahead of time so you can consult the food pyramid instead of throwing in that frozen pizza.
- Get rid of calorie-laden sugar soda pop. Switch to diet pop or naturally flavored water to cut calories.
- Snack frequently so you’ll end up eating small portions at mealtime. Try your fave veggies, fruits, or nuts. Keep them on hand so they’re easy to grab in a pinch.
- Stop thinking about what you can’t have, and start thinking about what you can have.
- As always, keep in touch with your doctor to make sure you’re staying healthy.
